In...

...dependence.

Remember when we were kids, and the most important thing in school was to trace the little dotted lines? We had to trace the already written letters so that we could learn the ever-so important task of writing out our names. I remember when all I wanted to know was the answer to, "Who am I?" I remember a time when everyone I knew genuinely liked me, nobody befriended me to use me, nobody talked behind my back and nobody turned theirs to me. It's funny how you can be having a horrible day when a stranger asks, "How are you," and without thinking, you just lie. "I'm good, you?" Sometimes it actually makes me feel better, their smile. Sometimes I come away knowing that I fully deceived this random person but it isn't a big enough matter to stress about because they have no idea about my day versus any other day and may have very well only asked because that is what common courtesy called for. This is a poem/rap (when i read it to myself) about my frustrations, haha.

Strangers

I liked when we were strangers
kindness was everything
now every zone is dangerous
we talk like we don't mean a thing

Speaking when we have to
with an air of being factual
finding ways just to attack
using words to battle fro and to the back,
fourth, and fifth time again
when do we mend,
when are we back to being friends?

I'm sick of our one ups
and I'm tired of fuck ups
fundamentally challenge me
and come correct with courtesy

I'll buy into it, I promise
and give into you, I liked it
back when we strangers
when more than what your name was
was what I lived for
I was driven to get more
I just wanted to be you but vision's thrown askew by
what I bargained for
cuz you're reckless
you're heartless
and it's rubbing off, you see
we wrecked it
let's start this
over.. Hi, nice to meet

me.


Love you,
Love, me

mariel.