...of 2amc
Was CRAZY, here is some. I'm obviously way short or in a very small chair. Both are true.
Love them,
Love, me
Mariel.
Monday, June 30, 2008
Saturday, June 28, 2008
umm...
...yes.
can we have a how high moment just reeeeal fast:
pimpin since been pimpin since been pimpinnnn.
Sitting next to M hoping that his genius rubs off on me. i love music.
love you,
love, me
mariel.
Tiny Porno...
...3, as in 3 times better than the 4 times better than good that I thought it was gonna be.
That would add up to a whole lot of times better than I expected, which, in short, just means WOW. Last night I went to The Derby with T to see the 2am Club kill another show. Manohman. They are a force, really. It's almost ridiculous how good they are.... ughhhhhhhhh.
*Watch them on youtube NOW. Search 2am Club*
I have a goal to get 4 songs DONE done by October 26th. I don't know if I told you that yet.. My parents want me to try out for Idol at the end of July and I'm not too sure about the whole tv show againnn haha. Hm. It's weird how many different routes there are that could possibly lead me to where I wanna be and how few I would actually be satisfied with taking. Very stubborn, very picky. I think I am one of those people with too much pride and not enough greed for fame. I wanna come out and write all my own words and talk about what I wanna talk about and I don't wanna have to wait 2 years into a commercialized & fabricated career before I'm ALLOWED to do so. Things would be so much easier if it weren't for my hard headedness, haha. Ah.
Anyway, I'm working on one of the songs right now and I basically sound like I swallowed Fantasia Barino. Don't know how I feel about this yet, but we'll see.
Love you,
Love, me.
mariel.
That would add up to a whole lot of times better than I expected, which, in short, just means WOW. Last night I went to The Derby with T to see the 2am Club kill another show. Manohman. They are a force, really. It's almost ridiculous how good they are.... ughhhhhhhhh.
*Watch them on youtube NOW. Search 2am Club*
I have a goal to get 4 songs DONE done by October 26th. I don't know if I told you that yet.. My parents want me to try out for Idol at the end of July and I'm not too sure about the whole tv show againnn haha. Hm. It's weird how many different routes there are that could possibly lead me to where I wanna be and how few I would actually be satisfied with taking. Very stubborn, very picky. I think I am one of those people with too much pride and not enough greed for fame. I wanna come out and write all my own words and talk about what I wanna talk about and I don't wanna have to wait 2 years into a commercialized & fabricated career before I'm ALLOWED to do so. Things would be so much easier if it weren't for my hard headedness, haha. Ah.
Anyway, I'm working on one of the songs right now and I basically sound like I swallowed Fantasia Barino. Don't know how I feel about this yet, but we'll see.
Love you,
Love, me.
mariel.
Friday, June 27, 2008
marielevate...
...my awareness.
Manohman. I had one of the best days I have had in a long time... I can pretty confidently chalk it under one of the best days ever. It's kind of sad because I'm too off of a person to actually let it show that that was fact. I hung out with M and have basically come to the conclusion that I am just not as dope as I need to be, haha. There are people in my world that are just on a completely different level and unless I find a way to reach that within myself, it's never gonna make it out to the world. Crazyyyy, those guys... M especially. Not just because I have a ridiculous fan-to-rockstar slash just-plain-ridiculously-school-girl-like crush on him. But because he is one of the two (MB being the other) most talented people I know. Which then cradles said crush. How can so much genius be contained in one person? And how can one person be contained in Millvalley? Depressing.
I was priveliged enough to be able to sit in on their rehearsal, and of course I was way too cool to show that I was geeking out inside and pretty much needed to pee my pants on the rough little chair situation I was in.
That whole thing was one sentence just now, haha.
Anyway, I'm dumb for not being as excited outside as I was inside, but it's whatever... Maybe I'm that weirdo girl whose emotions only show when they fall apart onstage in front of a mic stand and a bleeding spotlight. Amaright? We'll see... I hope.
Oh, wow I completely forgot why I titled this blog what I titled this blog. I need to study up on my craft. And my world... happenings.. current events! There we go. And I need a 4 song EP by Oct. 26. And a band. And probably somewhere in between I should get... yea, I should get a life.
Love you,
Love, me.
mariel.
Manohman. I had one of the best days I have had in a long time... I can pretty confidently chalk it under one of the best days ever. It's kind of sad because I'm too off of a person to actually let it show that that was fact. I hung out with M and have basically come to the conclusion that I am just not as dope as I need to be, haha. There are people in my world that are just on a completely different level and unless I find a way to reach that within myself, it's never gonna make it out to the world. Crazyyyy, those guys... M especially. Not just because I have a ridiculous fan-to-rockstar slash just-plain-ridiculously-school-girl-like crush on him. But because he is one of the two (MB being the other) most talented people I know. Which then cradles said crush. How can so much genius be contained in one person? And how can one person be contained in Millvalley? Depressing.
I was priveliged enough to be able to sit in on their rehearsal, and of course I was way too cool to show that I was geeking out inside and pretty much needed to pee my pants on the rough little chair situation I was in.
That whole thing was one sentence just now, haha.
Anyway, I'm dumb for not being as excited outside as I was inside, but it's whatever... Maybe I'm that weirdo girl whose emotions only show when they fall apart onstage in front of a mic stand and a bleeding spotlight. Amaright? We'll see... I hope.
Oh, wow I completely forgot why I titled this blog what I titled this blog. I need to study up on my craft. And my world... happenings.. current events! There we go. And I need a 4 song EP by Oct. 26. And a band. And probably somewhere in between I should get... yea, I should get a life.
Love you,
Love, me.
mariel.
from may 14, 2006...
...ex marks the spot.
there's a place there
just beyond the side
where i think about things
where i think about you
there's a space where
most of all the time
i'm reminded of days
i'm reminded of new
i've seen joy in there
i've seen acts unjust
so many memories
with too much to find
there's a place where
just within my trust
ex marks the spot
that your mistake left behind
Love you,
Love, me.
mariel.
from november 3, 2006...
...am/a.m.
too early in the day
and already it runs
the unspoken pains
of what the world's become
much to think about
so much to dread
not enough answers
and hardly any light shed
her eyes are teased,
taunted by the stars
a child's game of hide/seek,
fading away into the dark
with so many rays
and warmth to come
i am her again
she is/a.m. the sun
but then it pours and it pouts
and the sanity gnaws
i am/a.m. darkness
she, we are/our dawn.
Love you,
Love, me.
mariel.
too early in the day
and already it runs
the unspoken pains
of what the world's become
much to think about
so much to dread
not enough answers
and hardly any light shed
her eyes are teased,
taunted by the stars
a child's game of hide/seek,
fading away into the dark
with so many rays
and warmth to come
i am her again
she is/a.m. the sun
but then it pours and it pouts
and the sanity gnaws
i am/a.m. darkness
she, we are/our dawn.
Love you,
Love, me.
mariel.
from june 3...
...Pray
For hope.
For clarity,
for change.
For an end.
For new beginnings,
for things to stay the same.
For rubble.
For obstacles,
for a challenge.
For drive.
For hunger
for the ability to manage.
For truth.
For love.
For lust.
For use
in losses
in matters of the heart, and such.
For fun.
For learning.
For time.
Let us pray
to be delivered
from scandal and lies.
From evil.
From darkness
from temptations in life.
Let us pray
to never be quitters.
For answers.
For friendship.
For passion.
For him to never hit her.
For her to remember
to feed him.
For their scars
their bruises
to heal.
For him to never quit.
For her to find herself.
For us to know that God is real.
Let us pray for eachother.
Let us pray for a second
and with all of our faith combined.
Let us pray for dreams
and pray for reailty
to playfully, to beautifully intertwine.
For food.
For water,
the neccessities.
Let us pray to pray to cry
for our pains to release
from our hopeless woes,
Let prayer uncover our corporate eyes.
Love you,
Love, me.
mariel.
For hope.
For clarity,
for change.
For an end.
For new beginnings,
for things to stay the same.
For rubble.
For obstacles,
for a challenge.
For drive.
For hunger
for the ability to manage.
For truth.
For love.
For lust.
For use
in losses
in matters of the heart, and such.
For fun.
For learning.
For time.
Let us pray
to be delivered
from scandal and lies.
From evil.
From darkness
from temptations in life.
Let us pray
to never be quitters.
For answers.
For friendship.
For passion.
For him to never hit her.
For her to remember
to feed him.
For their scars
their bruises
to heal.
For him to never quit.
For her to find herself.
For us to know that God is real.
Let us pray for eachother.
Let us pray for a second
and with all of our faith combined.
Let us pray for dreams
and pray for reailty
to playfully, to beautifully intertwine.
For food.
For water,
the neccessities.
Let us pray to pray to cry
for our pains to release
from our hopeless woes,
Let prayer uncover our corporate eyes.
Love you,
Love, me.
mariel.
Thursday, June 26, 2008
behind the scenes...
...videos.
Pretty sad that this is more exciting to me than the actual show. Please go to More Videos and watch the one called "Performance." I'm proud of us.. And the very first shot of us dancing is the first 5 minutes of us learning the routine, so don't laugh too hard. 'Pershiate it.
Love you,
Love, me.
mariel.
Pretty sad that this is more exciting to me than the actual show. Please go to More Videos and watch the one called "Performance." I'm proud of us.. And the very first shot of us dancing is the first 5 minutes of us learning the routine, so don't laugh too hard. 'Pershiate it.
Love you,
Love, me.
mariel.
from may 18...
...Another One Bites The Dust
Sometimes I surprise myself with my own strength. There are times that I step back from my situations and observe, like a proud parent, what I have become.. what I stand up for. For as long as I can remember, I've been the little one. The one to look out for, the one to protect. I think I have resented this for just as long, haha. It's fun, in a fairy tale sort of way, to think that there is always someone to save you. It's like living inside of a constant game of Truth or Dare, and always finding a strange sort of safety in picking the latter. But there came a point where I was tired of being saved. I have had absolutely no desire to be a victim. I want to be the one to WATCH OUT for... Being onstage last night felt like I was performing the biggest catastrophe a stage had ever held and all that people did was watch. Jaws dropped, questions in eye, not a stir in the room. No movement, no noise. I felt absolutely stripped and while the words spilled out I couldn't even see anyone breathing. Playing as my hands shook and stuttering as I sang, I would've been on the floor had it not been for the stool! In those moments, I fell victim to my lyrics. I became my hero. The audience was as absurd an audience as I have ever seen, haha. The song started with me singing to the silence, but finished somewhere between their roar and the stifle of my cry. If there was even one person who felt what I felt in that room, I know that I am doing what I was made to do. One day, I will be the one to turn to for the comfort of my words and for the warmth of my voice. In last night's game I chose Truth, so the next time that I play, I Dare you to listen...
And if the world turns its back on us maybe we can save ourselves.
I have never fallen apart onstage and I've never been so emotional after getting off of it! Sitting there, I felt the strongest urge saying, 'You are exactly where you were meant to be,' and the biggest push to run, to get away, to hide. Never felt so scared. So happy... so real. So, so tacky, haha.
the punches come
and so i roll
i've taken some
fallen to more
i can fight the tears
i can hide the pain
but the bruises show
and the stains remain
i'll just keep breathing til the war is done
soldier through it til the end.. i am me, i am one
the foes, they befriend me
the cool cats that turn to dogs
they come with faces of conviction
another battle will be lost
another star i'll give a wish
another prayer i will whisper
once i think my heart has slowed
the paces keep on, quicker, quicker
i'll just keep breathing til the war is done
soldier through it til the end.. i am me, i am one
until the day they prove me wrong
my scoreboards none for blank
i'll beat my purple heart right on
and battle til my dying day
so i'll keep breathing til the war is done
i'll tell of my legend.. i am me, the only one
love you,
love, me.
mariel.
Sometimes I surprise myself with my own strength. There are times that I step back from my situations and observe, like a proud parent, what I have become.. what I stand up for. For as long as I can remember, I've been the little one. The one to look out for, the one to protect. I think I have resented this for just as long, haha. It's fun, in a fairy tale sort of way, to think that there is always someone to save you. It's like living inside of a constant game of Truth or Dare, and always finding a strange sort of safety in picking the latter. But there came a point where I was tired of being saved. I have had absolutely no desire to be a victim. I want to be the one to WATCH OUT for... Being onstage last night felt like I was performing the biggest catastrophe a stage had ever held and all that people did was watch. Jaws dropped, questions in eye, not a stir in the room. No movement, no noise. I felt absolutely stripped and while the words spilled out I couldn't even see anyone breathing. Playing as my hands shook and stuttering as I sang, I would've been on the floor had it not been for the stool! In those moments, I fell victim to my lyrics. I became my hero. The audience was as absurd an audience as I have ever seen, haha. The song started with me singing to the silence, but finished somewhere between their roar and the stifle of my cry. If there was even one person who felt what I felt in that room, I know that I am doing what I was made to do. One day, I will be the one to turn to for the comfort of my words and for the warmth of my voice. In last night's game I chose Truth, so the next time that I play, I Dare you to listen...
And if the world turns its back on us maybe we can save ourselves.
I have never fallen apart onstage and I've never been so emotional after getting off of it! Sitting there, I felt the strongest urge saying, 'You are exactly where you were meant to be,' and the biggest push to run, to get away, to hide. Never felt so scared. So happy... so real. So, so tacky, haha.
the punches come
and so i roll
i've taken some
fallen to more
i can fight the tears
i can hide the pain
but the bruises show
and the stains remain
i'll just keep breathing til the war is done
soldier through it til the end.. i am me, i am one
the foes, they befriend me
the cool cats that turn to dogs
they come with faces of conviction
another battle will be lost
another star i'll give a wish
another prayer i will whisper
once i think my heart has slowed
the paces keep on, quicker, quicker
i'll just keep breathing til the war is done
soldier through it til the end.. i am me, i am one
until the day they prove me wrong
my scoreboards none for blank
i'll beat my purple heart right on
and battle til my dying day
so i'll keep breathing til the war is done
i'll tell of my legend.. i am me, the only one
love you,
love, me.
mariel.
from april 29...
...And So,
i cannot force
i shall not sin
never been a liar
and so, i lay.
i cannot see
i wasn't there
the present goes
and so, i stay
i cannot search
i need not pay
always wanted it fair
and so, i wait
i cannot fight
i grow so weak
exhaustion prevails
and so, i pray.
Love you,
Love, me.
mariel.
i cannot force
i shall not sin
never been a liar
and so, i lay.
i cannot see
i wasn't there
the present goes
and so, i stay
i cannot search
i need not pay
always wanted it fair
and so, i wait
i cannot fight
i grow so weak
exhaustion prevails
and so, i pray.
Love you,
Love, me.
mariel.
from april 27...
...Twelve Inside 4:05
take your eyes from me
it will make things easier
not that easy has been a trend in my past
in a wakeful doze
i stumble crooked in a sixty's stance
not that solid roads have come to pass
as i was saying,
things could be worse
but would they really be so bad?
what if yours was i
what if we were them
would you be settling for all you hoped not to have?
halfway there
thirty and some change
but the questions keep and keep on adding up
thirty nine, now
forty four gets close
the force of the mass proves to be two too tough
nearly rotated
my mind is still spinning
the chances stay dizzying, diluting again
if i let them pass
fifty two comes fast
full circle, four o' six, odds even out in tens...
now the minute is gone
my shot's been taken
this opportune tide will rise again, but rare
Inside 4:05
i left a message for you
only Twelve will tell if it'll still be there.
Love you,
Love, me.
mariel.
from october 9...
...The Giver sighed,
"You're right," he said. "But then everyone would be burdened and pained. They don't want that. And that's the real reason The Reciever is so vital to them, and so honored. They selected me -and you- to lift that burden from themselves."
Listening to Buble and eating those Nutter Butter joints, haha. Ahh. I hope everyone is doin better than I have been but here is a small part of something I wrote awhile ago..
you can call it cruel
you can call me wrong
but im not here to talk about love.
it was somethin cool
somethin in his song
i almost couldnt hear him above
the sounds in the streets
the beats all around
and the traffic wasnt much help
without eye contact
and an ipod jack
bass would be the only thing i felt
but his eyes were strong
and his lips spoke slow
he was sexy with a dip in his swagger
if any girl came along
he had spit enough to know
as long as she heard him, he had her
in seconds i was wild'n
like the masses for miles in
261, 626, 323
he's good and he knows
though he's not one to boast
he lets it show with his rhythms and his harmonies
he can call it cruel
he can call me wrong
but im not calling it for love.
its just sometin cool
somethin like a song
i just couldnt stop thinkin of.
Love you,
Love, me.
mariel.
poetry...
...for awhile.
I'm gonna go ahead and put up some of my poems that I've had on myspace cuuuuz... I think I secretly hope that more people will read them on here than they do on myspace, haha. Pathetic, no?
Here's one from Sept. 30, 2007
the beach
Hungry for drips
Waiting for a bite
Soaking in the energy of lust
Begging for freedom
Restricted by moral
Relying on tempation, lying in the dust
Burning for youth
Yearning for truth
Empty handed, cold hearted, we wade
As long as fire so rises
Insecurities meet their demises
One waits for fate and a date to be made
Love you,
Love, me.
mariel.
I'm gonna go ahead and put up some of my poems that I've had on myspace cuuuuz... I think I secretly hope that more people will read them on here than they do on myspace, haha. Pathetic, no?
Here's one from Sept. 30, 2007
the beach
Hungry for drips
Waiting for a bite
Soaking in the energy of lust
Begging for freedom
Restricted by moral
Relying on tempation, lying in the dust
Burning for youth
Yearning for truth
Empty handed, cold hearted, we wade
As long as fire so rises
Insecurities meet their demises
One waits for fate and a date to be made
Love you,
Love, me.
mariel.
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