Slow

There's an angel with a crowbar hanging from my heart. She keeps prying while I'm praying for growth and for hope.
And when I'm cold and I'm broken and I'm unlovable, she hugs my veins in pursuit of persuading them open.

Though I don't trust her, it's not just her, 'cause I have yet to confide in my own insides,
yet,
if entry were based on the vigor of strength in character,
I could trigger my logic and she'd have my bet.

She's glowing,
hair flowing red,
white robe, gold rope, no wings.
She's undone and unfeathered them and tethered them in bows around my naivety,
where she stands and she sings.

Her songs are my memories, her steps are my bruises and the marks from the scars that my journey have shown.
I'm breaking fast, she's anticipating my moves and accordingly, she dances, Slow.

There's an angel with a crowbar hanging from my heart and she'd be bored without me.

--

love you,
love, me.

That One

Everybody's looking for The One...
what if there are more than one?
what if there are none?

what if there's someone who thinks i'm good enough
someone who puts Ask before Touch
someone who doesn't hurry love

one who knows me better than they should
one who'd give me his wishes if he could
who will slow dance because he knows i'm not that good

i want him.

someone who never buys, but makes me gifts
never tries, but makes me giggle
who never lies, and lies with space for me to wiggle
who always has time for a kiss

one who loves to hear me, in even just a whisper
who is far too mature to nag and pry and bicker
someone who, even when im wrong, is the bigger
someone playful and strong and true

i want him.

someone who wants me bad
who sings me songs
who likes my dad
more than getting along
who likes adventure
who hates my makeup
who leans on me
who waits til i wake up
who i adore
who i just don't get
doesn't compare me to her
doesn't forget
what he wants, he takes
he learns from mistakes
walks the roads he's paved
and never stands in my way
he understands my dreams
he cooks for me
he's interesting
stubborn in his creativity
he's bold
he doesn't take bull****
he's probably not sappy enough
to read this
he's someone who knows who he is
but is still looking, just in case
someone who grows and accepts it well
someone looking for his someone else
i want that one
i want him.

---

love you,
love, me.

Sleepytown

theres a place beside my nighttime
where no locales defined

fiction feels, distance is blind
time is ours and you are mine

im your raven-haired lustable
and we've the sheets for comfortable

weave you with me, just unfold
behold us; tangible, touchable.

undercover under covers, we understand
that taste in our time spent shan't be bland

spend it bending and blending mending hands
give power to choice, leave none to chance

dance with me and romance my dreams
stop the sun from bleeding, melt with me

tell tales of lovers spells to sing
in Sleepytown, where i'd pay, bet, buy, steal and sell to be.

i'm okay.

I've been thinkin'
I've been blinking winter in
and out my life
But they keep sayin' it's July...
Why haven't I melted?

It's okay that I'm numb
A little love-struck
A little dumb
That puppy didn't wanna bite
I just know that I felt it

Give me thorns with those roses
High chins with those noses
And wins with the losses
From the most braggadocious
Typos with the text
And wake for the rest
And wait for the best
With the worst worth while
Because
I don't want any
If I can't have it all

Lust
Pain
Illness
Rain
Cold
Grime
Lonesome
Time
Filth
Breaks
Cuts
Hate
Bruises
Black
Contusions
Facts

I'm okay with maybe
not being okay for awhile
If in the meantime
Waiting
Is this
:)

--

Love you,
Love, me.

marijessanne
sarangay.

Circus Circa '95

Circus Circa '95

I remember when all I knew was the silver lining to life. When laying in the grass, as my new best friend's wife, nibbling at the roots and turning potato bugs into little un-break-up-able balls were the most important matters at hand. I remember when I didn't understand... When every question that I asked (no matter how ridiculous) had a beautifully sugar-coated (even more ridiculous) answer to it. I used to be daring. No fear! I was invincible and I conquered every mountain, scaring away the squeamish with my brave embrace on adventure. The principal would always walk tall, and I'd wiggle my chin as high as it'd reach, tipping on the very tippy tip of toes, just to get my nose in the air, smelling the teacher's recipe for dirt cup on my lips. And I'd smile without my front toof. I had ALL the gold stars that one could possibly get. And I remember getting the yellow slips for perfect attendance, then "walking" (running) to the office to trade it in for a dinosaur eraser. (I always chose red. Called him Rex. Lost him every week until I'd get him again the next.) I remember cops and robbers and cooties and chasers. Red rover, double dutch, jacks, and shark.. I remember never wanting to be the last one picked for doctor dodgeball and always wondering what was over that fence behind the big kids' tree. I remember having the time to talk about time. Wondering what it'd be like after this; after we weren't allowed on the yellow monkey bars and were given lockers for all the heavy, enpsychopedia-looking books that we were supposed to let a boy carry anyway. And what it'd be like when I got reeeally old, when I could finally drive.. where would I go? I remember you told me you HAD to know, so you could be there, too. So, you and me, we promised. We said, "Honest," and squoze our pinkies tight... we said we'd meet here.. where, if we lay 16 Gozilla steps right past the lunch guard, and looked up, we'd see our circus. We promised that on the day we saw the elephant in the sky, we'd meet, and it'd be the same and we'd catch up and if the other didn't have their beaded gecko and their half heart bff necklace and the matching nano pet (and it didn't count if they died), that they were a stinky, moldy, kept-in-a-dirty-sock rotten egg. And we'd divorce, and grow older, and wrinklier, and sadder, apart. So, every now and then, I look up.. and I've seen ducks, and sheep and lions. But no elephant; all silver lining, which I now know is just holding the rain. Just know that I'm waiting, because I'd love to be there, with you, again... Though it's kinda nice to know I haven't growed up yet.

--

love you,

love, me.

But

Love Happiness & Faith

should not come with conditions...

Would I be asking too much if I expected my heart to

love alone

rejoice alone

and have faith in nothing but its own pulse?

I'm only weak, only human

always fragile, always hungry

And the choices that I seem to be left with are beyond primitive.

I'm offered up all of the fancy things

and all of the extras and a feast of advancements

But to feel these,

to touch, to capture and to acquire these riches

I'm always forced to sacrifice part of the bare, unshakeable and raw brilliance.

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And then I tear up again

And write another line, for only me to read

And then I spread it...

I send it out because I can't stand to keep it in

And if only for a second, it helps

because I've done it for no other reason that to better myself

And I'm reminded that I still care

and I still love

and I have faith

that I'll be happy outside of the lies we tell ourselves..

Because THAT is raw, real and true...

With no "but," no "just as long as,"

Only what's interpreted between me & you..

Only feeling.

--

love you,

love, me.

iWant.

show me brains like A***

eyes like B****

a drive like C****

and mystery like D****

love fun, like E****

have a spirit like F***

take care of me like G***

surprise me like H****

be blunt like I**

fit me like J****

speak slow & smooth like K***

succeed like L******

have as much swag as M***

as much style as N***

fix your lips like O*******

make me laugh like P*****

feel me like Q**

get dirty like R***

move like S****

show me hands like T***

make me wanna be better for/than/like U

smile like V****

be my muse like W******

be ready like X****

be honest like Y****

and be true like Z***

man.

if that doesn't spell it out for you...

; )

love you,

love, me.