Monday, January 12, 2009

Beauty In The Gutter

I wish I could tell you how much I appreciate my gut! There are so many times in life when I find myself doing things for no apparent reason, rhyme, or sense... and they always come back to me later with a bigger purpose than I would have understood at the time, and then that reminds me that I'm progressing in some way, haha. Love this.. I love finding things out about people and, in turn, finding things out about myself.

For some reason, I've had a lot of prayers/dreams lately that are telling me a lotttt of tests are coming. A lot of.. help him, help her, help them; be the bigger person and help relieve the weights; appreciate my own quality and fight the things that tempt me to be less.

A LOT of "I miss you"s want to leave my text outbox lately, but they haven't. I don't know why! It's a good feeling to be missed and I don't know exactly why I wouldn't want my kiddos to feel that from me, but secretly maybe I want to be missed? Or I don't want them to know I need them?

...I'll never let this go
But I can't find the words to tell you
I don't want to be alone
But now I feel like I don't know you...



love you,
love, me.

mariel.