I Want Things

Back to the way they were.

love you,
love, me

mariel.

Lost A Little

solo in the water and im barely holding on
barely floating, losing hope
all the boats are gone

treading through the trenches dreading every step
head down, up to my chin
being swallowed by the depth

the seconds wrap the night in tighter
lost a little, closing lids
i find that it is brighter

im a fighter, like daddy said
let me make peace with nature's maker
life is handing out beatings now
im bruised and bleeding; the only taker
i'm lost, i'm losing my fuel to withstand
i'm taking the blows, shaking them off
i'm weary, i'm broken, i come apart in his eyes
but i'm standing, i'm fearless, i'm tough
alone on the ropes, no medal on my neck
not quite a winner, i haven't lost yet
if metal and wood cover me, laying me low
i'll know above all, that at the very least, i lived.


mariel.

I Know What You Are, Baby

Yeeeeeeeoooooo :)

Things are funny right now, I am loving it. I am spending a lot of time with random people and a lot more time with myself.. both are helping my brain in ways I probably don't understand. I'm sitting on the street stealing internet right now and there is a Hollywood tour bus driving past me, the riders are yelling at me, "Go 'head, girl. Steal that net!" and "Yo, I've never seen that, somebody just sitting right on the street right on a laptop right there," haha.

Better news, I have a show on March 28th and I'm SOOOOOO happy. It's not even really my show, so it's a little pathetic that I'm this excited, but in the same token I have never performed anywhere legit like this so I am giving myself the right of passage to pee my pants over the situation :)

I am about to do a lot of travelling and that makes my tummy go weird. Partly because I don't have a passport that is valid, and that makes me think of the fact that I don't have a birth certificate.. But mostly because I cannot WAIT! I want to move. I need things to GO. Proceed, progress.

Right now though, I have no debit card and the banks are closed, so I cannot buy the keyboard I have been waiting to get, so I'm gonna go inside and write some stuff, watch Stepbrothers, and enjoy the day with J. I love this.

love you,
love, me

mariel.

Oh, The Tangled Webs We Weave

Maaaaaaan! Actually.... MEN. Haha, I hate that it isn't difficult for me to see the good in people. I hate that every time a new person shines, no matter how many have done so before, I get excited and appreciate it as if it's all new! I also love these little things. I love my family. I LOVVVVE my friends. Let's play. Top of the dome..

RS
DF
JJ
JT
JU
TG
KP
CF
MG
JG
AS
LM
MH
BS
MS
MW
CL
MB
BJ
TC
AE
CL
RG
CH
DP
JY
AF
PF
DD
LD
AC

I love you.

love, me.

Yes. So im on again because i keep writing songs and i wanted to say something without breakin into a chorus :) Watching fresh prince, hearing pharell right now.. Just got done dyin over jamie foxxs new video, ha... Aw.

I was talkin to a friend today about who i think has major swag in the world of famousness, haha. Jamie i think is on that list. But i really wish he would go back to the days he that he sang!

Had more id drama today, that was fun and not embarassing at all :)

im about to get back to writing.. I love my friends. My couch. My life and ohhhhh my gosh commercial for children with cancer, oh goodness :( Life is great and i cant take things for granted and i have to speak things into exsitence... :) I hope everyone is well, mama need song writing and sweet, dreamy sleep.

love you,
love, me

mariel.

Stress.

UGH!

Whyyyy I am not on top of the simplest things, I do not knowww.
And why haven't I heard from you... (Reba McIntire circa '98)

mariel.

That car? Mama likey. Today was interesting... I started by waking up from a really bad dream, which reminds me: i love everyone! Even though J is being really loud and i an resisting the strangling of his neck ;) Really.

i can't find my birth certificate, so that's really bad.... And some friends of mine are acting really weird. On a better note, some OTHER friends of mine are being really good at their jobs :)

im so tired yet i always want to get on here and type to myself! what kinda....

love you,
love, me

mariel.