...is tomorrow
We worked hard for our two days of togetherness, haha. The test will be in tomorrow's performance. Can Treble pull it off? Hmm. Ahdunno, but we shall see!
Aside from that, haven't been feeling as stable (don't know if that's the right word but its a good little segway haha) as i should lately, and then today i experienced my first earthquake! Ironic, right? I love it. The world works in funny ways... But then i just listen to jacob and the transfer, write a song and all things are better. Haha :)
Goodnight, im gonna watch Doomsday.
Love you,
Love, me
mariel.
Wednesday, July 30, 2008
Wednesday, July 23, 2008
UGH
freakin a. i dont know what to dooooooooo. mtv for sure or idol in the dark. i wish one of these would stick out and slap me in the face like a no-brainer but no diiiice.
love you,
love, me
mariel.
love you,
love, me
mariel.
it's alright...
...is just what you say
you always tell me to let it go and let my stresses fall prey to absence, you're careless like that, but in a good way, in a good sense. makin' sure i know there's always an alternative and tomorrow turns into a new today, so today's ultimately gonna turn towards the term of yesterday, im stubborn, though. i never really hear the first time, you know? i need it repeated or my mind will delete it, i need to hear things twice or thrice or like a funnel it withers nice and evenly to black.
i like to put myself in the rain and like the way the darkness wraps up around the day, i soak in sorrowful things cuz im used to the wallowing, singing hollow rings around the corner to no one but me. im stubborn, so you're always there coaching me through, never boasting but you tell me of every time you've felt born anew when a new problem had arised just before your eyes and just before your thighs gave way for your knees to buckle and break your stature free, you stacked up your dignity and supported it with prayer between each layer of hope and so eventually you stood.
standing for violence and for hate to take way on its hell bent, hell-sent, rage-filled journey to the depths of the deeper peace that rests within you and with me, and the rest, we stand witness to this hero's tragedy. without apathy, we bear testimony only of the test that we saw in the raw, naive and misleading lack of fear in your eyes. for we know not your pain and we know not your fight and while we think of you brave, you secretly hide in your sty like that of a cave and cry yourself to sleep while nights chain the memories to dreams to sustain the root of your screams but to us it seems, the truth of the matter after what you have deemed it to be, is alright.
but that's just what you say.
love you,
love, me
mariel.
you always tell me to let it go and let my stresses fall prey to absence, you're careless like that, but in a good way, in a good sense. makin' sure i know there's always an alternative and tomorrow turns into a new today, so today's ultimately gonna turn towards the term of yesterday, im stubborn, though. i never really hear the first time, you know? i need it repeated or my mind will delete it, i need to hear things twice or thrice or like a funnel it withers nice and evenly to black.
i like to put myself in the rain and like the way the darkness wraps up around the day, i soak in sorrowful things cuz im used to the wallowing, singing hollow rings around the corner to no one but me. im stubborn, so you're always there coaching me through, never boasting but you tell me of every time you've felt born anew when a new problem had arised just before your eyes and just before your thighs gave way for your knees to buckle and break your stature free, you stacked up your dignity and supported it with prayer between each layer of hope and so eventually you stood.
standing for violence and for hate to take way on its hell bent, hell-sent, rage-filled journey to the depths of the deeper peace that rests within you and with me, and the rest, we stand witness to this hero's tragedy. without apathy, we bear testimony only of the test that we saw in the raw, naive and misleading lack of fear in your eyes. for we know not your pain and we know not your fight and while we think of you brave, you secretly hide in your sty like that of a cave and cry yourself to sleep while nights chain the memories to dreams to sustain the root of your screams but to us it seems, the truth of the matter after what you have deemed it to be, is alright.
but that's just what you say.
love you,
love, me
mariel.
Sunday, July 20, 2008
things...
...that don't suck:
Unexpected texts
Strangers
A tuned guitar
Full gas tanks
The little girl yelling, "That's why dad named you Joe Dirt!"
Feeling like you're wanted
Home
Accomplishing a ridiculous goal
Accepting a compliment
Fruity Pebbles over frozen yogurt
Cake
Being able to turn to a blog in uncomfortable situations
Love you,
Love, me
mariel.
Unexpected texts
Strangers
A tuned guitar
Full gas tanks
The little girl yelling, "That's why dad named you Joe Dirt!"
Feeling like you're wanted
Home
Accomplishing a ridiculous goal
Accepting a compliment
Fruity Pebbles over frozen yogurt
Cake
Being able to turn to a blog in uncomfortable situations
Love you,
Love, me
mariel.
we are all struggling, we're all hurt. even the strongest man, outside, trembles at the thought of pain inside. we might hide it, but we cry a little more than people think. and we might fight it, but it feels good after all. we give energy to the downside, giving work to the upside, and turning things around for those of naivety. opening eyes and shooting the stars. i wish i could be there for you, i wish i was your balance. if i just knew what made you tick i could ease it all away. if we just listened and talked a little more.... we could help and lie a little less. you hear what im saying but not quite what i've said, i know. and i forgive you. but forgive me for being too frank? forgive me for feeding you the truths of my sorrow and expecting the thought of them to be easier to swallow for you than the very fact of them for me. my kisses can't heal you. my hugs are no help. but the emotion behind them is what i want you to feel. i am small and weak and weary in the cold but my heart should be enough to warm your soul... my words should take your worries away and my presence should ward off anything that dare come near enough to harm you.
there comes a point where we stop letting each other try. we give a nod and acknowledge the finish line. we're done, we've given up, we've failed. to the best of my knowledge, we haven't reached that point so please... don't give up on us yet. in the times of need prior to this speech i have been ready to let you go but this time, you can struggle and squirm and beg for a release but i believe in you far too much to let the faith that you hold in yourself -for yourself- pass.
love you,
love, me.
mariel.
there comes a point where we stop letting each other try. we give a nod and acknowledge the finish line. we're done, we've given up, we've failed. to the best of my knowledge, we haven't reached that point so please... don't give up on us yet. in the times of need prior to this speech i have been ready to let you go but this time, you can struggle and squirm and beg for a release but i believe in you far too much to let the faith that you hold in yourself -for yourself- pass.
love you,
love, me.
mariel.
Upside...
...down.
manohman. i feel like my world is turning, well, as implied. there are some.. interesting people in my life, haha. it's funny when the unfamiliar becomes routine and the norm seems alien to me. i realize im speaking as if the world revolves around none other than myself, but it IS my blog. and nobody reads it but me and you. :)
basically, i've gotten myself into few traps that could've easily been avoided had i listened to my instincts. but that would have just been way too logical and far too easy for my complication-loving live so y'know. i do what i cannn.
i need security... stability. and singing, duh. too much t'ask?
i promise if you give me the road i have the drive.
i hope everyone, well i hope YOU are well, haha.
love you,
love, me.
mariel.
manohman. i feel like my world is turning, well, as implied. there are some.. interesting people in my life, haha. it's funny when the unfamiliar becomes routine and the norm seems alien to me. i realize im speaking as if the world revolves around none other than myself, but it IS my blog. and nobody reads it but me and you. :)
basically, i've gotten myself into few traps that could've easily been avoided had i listened to my instincts. but that would have just been way too logical and far too easy for my complication-loving live so y'know. i do what i cannn.
i need security... stability. and singing, duh. too much t'ask?
i promise if you give me the road i have the drive.
i hope everyone, well i hope YOU are well, haha.
love you,
love, me.
mariel.
Wednesday, July 16, 2008
21+
...Questions.
So, hey. M just left and right before that, M & K dipped out as well... I think I've been in this house for too long today so I want to talk to someone but this survey is easily the next best thing at 4am :)
Okay people, answer in detail!
1. Who was the last person you...
- hugged? Josh T @ raw night.
- cried over? Lolo, he said some stuff to D and they hit some insecure issues o' mine :(
- kissed? Marc's cheek, i believe.
- danced with? Kayleigh, kind of. i was doing my inverts on the roof while she did her Y kicks, or something.. if that doesn't count, it would have to be Dave before they hit the road, haha. We worked on his piano moves... bomb.
- had a sleepover with? Technically, Marc. But my house was on 7 deep status with all of 2AM CLUB here + Mike Cheek! Well, and then M'apples and Nii came through but that was only for like 3 hours so I don't think that even counts.
- were angry with? This ass of a man at the dealership. Don't talk to me like I'm a 4 year old, thanks. And don't put your hands on me, chump.
- couldn't take your eyes off of? Haha, this girl at the ice cream shop. She was so pretty and so sweet and just way too happy to not look at.
2. Have you...
- danced in the rain? Yessir. Literally, and for Singing In The Rain.
- been kissed on the forehead? Yes... come to think of it, it may be safe to say that my forehead has gotten way more action than my actual designated area for kissing. How sad is that?
- shoplifted? Yes. Long time ago, i prommmise.
- drank alcohol? No. Sippy sip sip years and years and years ago. And church in the past, haha.
- slept around? Nope. Mama's good.. and that's not very hella clean :) Yesss.
- partied til the sun came up? Why, yes. Bytheway, John Legend es un genius.
- gone too far on a dare? Haha, nothing comes to mind but i am kind of thinking yes...? We have definitely done some stupid things.
3. Can you...
- name the first or last 10 presidents? Haha, no. Aw... i feel so out of the politically versed loop.
- touch your elbows behind your back? Ok, no. That sounds really easy.. and looks really funny.
- list all the people you've kissed? Well, yea. Am i being expected to, or... how about this: T, E, M, C, J, R, Q, A, and J. Those are all the ones that meant something. Haha, and ALL of them have inspired songs.
- identify your boy/girlfriend's scent? Haha... hahaha. That's really funny for some reason.
- solve a Rubic's Cube? UGH! i will one day, i swear.
- quote the Matrix? "What if i can't?" YESSS im good.
- count the number of texts you got/sent today? Riiiight.
4. Finish the sentence...
- I love to: sing.
- I need: sleep.
- I am a: sleepy singer.
- Where did all the: truth go?
- I want: him, haha. oh, me.
- Who has my: big toe! Omy, i hope someone remembers that scary story book with that in there.
- I never: am one of the girls, haha.
5. Gimme a line...
- Garth Brooks? The thunder rolls, and the lightning striiikes.. good song.
- 50 Cent? You say I talk too fast but if you listen a little faster i won't have to slow down for you to keep up. Aww man i don't know if i remember this all the way right but its somethin like that.
- Da Brat? I'm in love witchu more than my car, more than my house, more than the night i kept your name comin' out my mouth. GOOD SONG.
- Hannah Montana? I st-st-stuttered when you asked me what I'm thinkin' bout... right?
- Notorious BIG? Relax and take notes, while I take tokes of the marijuana smoke.
- Red Hot Chili Peppers? I like pleasure spiked with pain and music is my aeroplane. DOPE, yea?
- Your Favorite Singer? Instead i'm with the band photo shootin, i sing songs from a place that is sub-human. YES best ever.
6. So...
- if a hobo gave you an ice cream, would you feel guilty taking it from him? Haha, what? No... i don't think so. if i picture myself in this situation, i probably would feel guilty not taking it because i can't imagine why he would think that i would need it more than him.. so i'd probably take it to please him.
- what if you had a long lost twin? i would hope that she were cooler than m'self. or he.. haha.
- do you have a favorite body part? On me or on other people? Cuz on me.... hm. i like my collar area, sometimes. Sometimes my back or my little hip. Haha... on other people i might say i like hands.. and mouths and arms.
- what song got you through your last tough time? wow 2am club all day. it actually was the TRANSFER's You Can Look. manohmannn.
- ever cheat/been cheated on? No and not that i know of, haha.
- who made you smile last? In person, Marc, Panda Marc, not 2amc Marc, this time haha.
- have you ever done an impersonation of Arnold? Actually, yes but NEVER for anyone to hear, haha. i'm just really bad at it, that's why.
7. Finally...
- how did your last relationship end? Haha. We kind of just weren't working.. did the in between thing for awhile, broke it off, he made a mistake and then we were through. We're cool, though.
- what was the last meal you finished completely? Tonight's dinner, actually! I got chicken teriyaki and shrimp tempura with gyoza. A California roll and some kind of coconut ice cream dessert. Um, YES.
- Kathryn McPhee is Over It. Are you? Haha, i believe that yes, i am over the proverbial it.
- you just had the perfect date, how do you end it? We plan to plan another date, silly.
- if you're burning a mixed cd for your secret crush, what song finishes it off? Haha secret crush, huh. Hm.. The Way You Make Me Feel by MJ or Kiss by Prince :)
- you crossed the finish line! What were you running for? Well, the last run was for Women's Cancer Research shout out to lolaaaaa.
- any unfinished business? Yes, the sleep that I just fell into.
love you,
love, me
mariel.
So, hey. M just left and right before that, M & K dipped out as well... I think I've been in this house for too long today so I want to talk to someone but this survey is easily the next best thing at 4am :)
Okay people, answer in detail!
1. Who was the last person you...
- hugged? Josh T @ raw night.
- cried over? Lolo, he said some stuff to D and they hit some insecure issues o' mine :(
- kissed? Marc's cheek, i believe.
- danced with? Kayleigh, kind of. i was doing my inverts on the roof while she did her Y kicks, or something.. if that doesn't count, it would have to be Dave before they hit the road, haha. We worked on his piano moves... bomb.
- had a sleepover with? Technically, Marc. But my house was on 7 deep status with all of 2AM CLUB here + Mike Cheek! Well, and then M'apples and Nii came through but that was only for like 3 hours so I don't think that even counts.
- were angry with? This ass of a man at the dealership. Don't talk to me like I'm a 4 year old, thanks. And don't put your hands on me, chump.
- couldn't take your eyes off of? Haha, this girl at the ice cream shop. She was so pretty and so sweet and just way too happy to not look at.
2. Have you...
- danced in the rain? Yessir. Literally, and for Singing In The Rain.
- been kissed on the forehead? Yes... come to think of it, it may be safe to say that my forehead has gotten way more action than my actual designated area for kissing. How sad is that?
- shoplifted? Yes. Long time ago, i prommmise.
- drank alcohol? No. Sippy sip sip years and years and years ago. And church in the past, haha.
- slept around? Nope. Mama's good.. and that's not very hella clean :) Yesss.
- partied til the sun came up? Why, yes. Bytheway, John Legend es un genius.
- gone too far on a dare? Haha, nothing comes to mind but i am kind of thinking yes...? We have definitely done some stupid things.
3. Can you...
- name the first or last 10 presidents? Haha, no. Aw... i feel so out of the politically versed loop.
- touch your elbows behind your back? Ok, no. That sounds really easy.. and looks really funny.
- list all the people you've kissed? Well, yea. Am i being expected to, or... how about this: T, E, M, C, J, R, Q, A, and J. Those are all the ones that meant something. Haha, and ALL of them have inspired songs.
- identify your boy/girlfriend's scent? Haha... hahaha. That's really funny for some reason.
- solve a Rubic's Cube? UGH! i will one day, i swear.
- quote the Matrix? "What if i can't?" YESSS im good.
- count the number of texts you got/sent today? Riiiight.
4. Finish the sentence...
- I love to: sing.
- I need: sleep.
- I am a: sleepy singer.
- Where did all the: truth go?
- I want: him, haha. oh, me.
- Who has my: big toe! Omy, i hope someone remembers that scary story book with that in there.
- I never: am one of the girls, haha.
5. Gimme a line...
- Garth Brooks? The thunder rolls, and the lightning striiikes.. good song.
- 50 Cent? You say I talk too fast but if you listen a little faster i won't have to slow down for you to keep up. Aww man i don't know if i remember this all the way right but its somethin like that.
- Da Brat? I'm in love witchu more than my car, more than my house, more than the night i kept your name comin' out my mouth. GOOD SONG.
- Hannah Montana? I st-st-stuttered when you asked me what I'm thinkin' bout... right?
- Notorious BIG? Relax and take notes, while I take tokes of the marijuana smoke.
- Red Hot Chili Peppers? I like pleasure spiked with pain and music is my aeroplane. DOPE, yea?
- Your Favorite Singer? Instead i'm with the band photo shootin, i sing songs from a place that is sub-human. YES best ever.
6. So...
- if a hobo gave you an ice cream, would you feel guilty taking it from him? Haha, what? No... i don't think so. if i picture myself in this situation, i probably would feel guilty not taking it because i can't imagine why he would think that i would need it more than him.. so i'd probably take it to please him.
- what if you had a long lost twin? i would hope that she were cooler than m'self. or he.. haha.
- do you have a favorite body part? On me or on other people? Cuz on me.... hm. i like my collar area, sometimes. Sometimes my back or my little hip. Haha... on other people i might say i like hands.. and mouths and arms.
- what song got you through your last tough time? wow 2am club all day. it actually was the TRANSFER's You Can Look. manohmannn.
- ever cheat/been cheated on? No and not that i know of, haha.
- who made you smile last? In person, Marc, Panda Marc, not 2amc Marc, this time haha.
- have you ever done an impersonation of Arnold? Actually, yes but NEVER for anyone to hear, haha. i'm just really bad at it, that's why.
7. Finally...
- how did your last relationship end? Haha. We kind of just weren't working.. did the in between thing for awhile, broke it off, he made a mistake and then we were through. We're cool, though.
- what was the last meal you finished completely? Tonight's dinner, actually! I got chicken teriyaki and shrimp tempura with gyoza. A California roll and some kind of coconut ice cream dessert. Um, YES.
- Kathryn McPhee is Over It. Are you? Haha, i believe that yes, i am over the proverbial it.
- you just had the perfect date, how do you end it? We plan to plan another date, silly.
- if you're burning a mixed cd for your secret crush, what song finishes it off? Haha secret crush, huh. Hm.. The Way You Make Me Feel by MJ or Kiss by Prince :)
- you crossed the finish line! What were you running for? Well, the last run was for Women's Cancer Research shout out to lolaaaaa.
- any unfinished business? Yes, the sleep that I just fell into.
love you,
love, me
mariel.
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