I Shouldn't.

im in laughlin, nv right now sitting poolside at a rannndom hotel and everyone else is out here smoking, drinking and talking about the competition, haha. im burned out right now, but i can't complain.. there is always drama but there are definitely good people here and now that i've finally found internet i feel like writing. there are a few things going on in my life and in some of the people close to me & the things that i write probably/hopefully sum up a lot of situations, but this particular one is for a friend...

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Let me just tell you... quick, before they catch me;
I feel like you're every kind of wonderful.

I've been trying to hold this in for what seems like forever, and now I can finally free my words, but what can I say before you stop listening? What can I say that'll still be heard? Can I say that you're my thrill? Cuz you're actually MORE than what I could ask for... Even your faults are endearing, your lies are worth hearing and though there are times that you're right here with me, I miss you, still.

Everyone tries to tame you but I want you just the way you are! I love your recklessness, your risk and your fury. I love that you scare and secure me at the same time and I love that when I'm with you I never have to worry, I'm always fine. I'm always smiling. You're alwayyys you.

Your consistency is divine and your devilish grin gets me through and through but your eyes say different than your swag... I love it when you're bad :) But when you're good, you're GOOD and it's the best I'll never have, cuz they won't let it be. They won't let you have me in any way and there's so many things they won't let me do, so is there anything that I can really say to you? I've been trying to hold this in to keep us together, and now that I'm finally free, my words are threatening me with our forever because we're not allowed to risk our ships.... not our "friend" for our "relation," and my time with you right now's a-wastin'! Ha... our consciences are back now, I guess I'd better back down and save these things for the day you decide to say what I never could... Cuz I think you feel it too.

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love you,
love, me.


ps...... im really proud of the "risk our ships" line. yesssss, me! i miss that game :(