last day @ journeys

Nostalgia

Aw!!! Yes, cover of LDS newspaper :) Haha...




love you,
love, me

mariel.

Bed Of Burdens

Hiiiyaaa. R texted me after like 2 weeks! Weird... nice, though. K called me last night but that was just to get something that he needed, haha.... and then I let myself text YM and M and I still want to let some other friends know that they're missed but it's not too serious. I love my friends. Love life. Love that I just got offered a publishing deal. Love that I'm too stubborn and creatively emotional and greedy to want to let any of my songs go! What a dumb little meee.

There's only so many songs that I can sing to pass the time...

I work again tomorrow ughhhhh. Today was a nice ease back in comparison to how the past week has been! I wrote some quality things today. Wrote a craaazy rap, haha. I would like to borrow Fiona Apple's brain for just a day... and Brandy's voice. And Matt Reagan's entire self.

love you,
love, me.

mariel.

Beauty In The Gutter

I wish I could tell you how much I appreciate my gut! There are so many times in life when I find myself doing things for no apparent reason, rhyme, or sense... and they always come back to me later with a bigger purpose than I would have understood at the time, and then that reminds me that I'm progressing in some way, haha. Love this.. I love finding things out about people and, in turn, finding things out about myself.

For some reason, I've had a lot of prayers/dreams lately that are telling me a lotttt of tests are coming. A lot of.. help him, help her, help them; be the bigger person and help relieve the weights; appreciate my own quality and fight the things that tempt me to be less.

A LOT of "I miss you"s want to leave my text outbox lately, but they haven't. I don't know why! It's a good feeling to be missed and I don't know exactly why I wouldn't want my kiddos to feel that from me, but secretly maybe I want to be missed? Or I don't want them to know I need them?

...I'll never let this go

But I can't find the words to tell you
I don't want to be alone
But now I feel like I don't know you...

love you,

love, me.

mariel.

Looking Forward

Tomorrow is my day off!! Yesssss. But, I do have to go into work and have a little convo about how I'm pretty sure the n word is nottt to be used in the work place and that I am not ok with its reoccurring role in our back room. So... there is still work to be done :( Also, I feel really funny saying the n word. And right now I don't even mean the actual n word itself, but just the little.. phrase, "n word," haha. Awkward.

Talked to N today for like two minutes and that was all that I needed to remember how chill he is. Ah.. deffffinitely appreciate him.

What I do not appreciate, is the fact that none of my pictures (one of which has a blooper that is the little accent to this here entry.) are wanting to load on up to photobucket or myspace :( Hmmmm. We shall figure this out at Q's tomorrow and hopefully I can just load them from his place as he loads fruity loops into his computadora. Will write again manana...

love you,
love, me

mariel.

Long Distance

With you is where I'd rather be
But we're stuck where we are
This long distance is killin' meeeeeeee.

Oh, blog. I want to leave this little California right now. Good thing I'm going home soon! Hopefully that will fulfill my little need-a-vaca feeling............ If only I coulda done that while freakin M was in freakin Utah for Christmas OH that woulda been too much, haha. SO sick.

My brain is back to writing and I'm so so so so so happy. My voice is getting up more and more every day and I'm loving the things I'm coming up with and being able to do and oh singing i am your wife.

mama sleepy.

love you,
love, me.

mariel.

Get Stupid

Work tomorrow at 8am. Fuuun!

i have to call Aldo i have to call Aldo i have to.

i didn't work today but i also didn't do any laundry :( i have kiiind of been thinking about someone all day and it's been..... different. i can't figure out what exactly is going on in my brain, haha. Hm..........................

I went to breakfast with R today and that was pretty chill. He, too, tried to feed me (fidm) and i just do nottt get it :/

I have been thinking about the 27 Club lately. That whole concept is insane to me..... I'm wondering if that is really a huge coincidence or if it's only found because it's looked for. Like, if i were to look for all the basketball players who ever died in December, or the number of girls with my name who died on a weekend, haha, what would i find? Crazy things, maybe. I wonder if the musicians who start to gain their fame at 24 ever really wonder about the list. I hope its just a coincidence... :)

I started 3 songs today and im really proud. Now i just have to get to finishing themmm..

love you,
love, me

mariel.